SEVEN YEAR SWITCH + ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE

A version of this article was originally published in The Courier on 10th March 2018.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/category/lifestyle/entertainment/tv-film/

SEVEN YEAR SWITCH: Tuesday, Channel 4

ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE: Wednesday, Channel 4

People are strange. Whenever they feel scared or desperate, their decision-making patterns can become erratic and bizarre. That’s an absolute Godsend for television producers, as it allows programmes such as SEVEN YEAR SWITCH to exist.

I suspect that for most couples on the verge of divorce, appearing in a modified version of Wife Swap would be pretty far down their list of priorities. For the couples participating in this new partner-switching series, it obviously felt like the best course of action.

On the one hand, Seven Year Switch feels symptomatic of the rampant narcissism that’s infected first world society since the advent of reality television and social media.

On the other hand, these genuinely troubled couples felt compelled to do whatever it takes to save their marriages. It’s just that, apparently, “whatever it takes” sometimes means having your private woes beamed into millions of homes throughout the country.

So how does it work? Over the course of the series, four couples for whom the dream has gone sour take part in our old friend the TV social experiment to find out once and for all if their marriages are worth fighting for.

The idea is that by living as husband and wife for a fortnight with someone they’ve only just met, they’ll either re-evaluate their marriage or conclude that it really is all over.

The production team have a budget that has to be pointlessly spent, so the participants are flown out to a luxurious Thai island. Overseeing the whole ordeal is a relationship therapist who decides who should be switched – not swapped, it’s a very important distinction – with whom.

The twist is that there are no rules about what kind of relationship they choose to have. When you think about it, that could mean anything. What’s more, the stunned guinea pigs aren’t even told they’ll be sharing a bed until they arrive at their villas. This doesn’t go down well with most of them.

As is reality television’s wont, it’s all very contrived and manipulative.

Episode one devoted itself to introducing the couples, outlining their various problems and seeing what happened when the switched pairings met for the first time.

The shared bed bombshell triggered a gust of polite awkwardness. Watching the couples deal with this issue was admittedly rather interesting. Despite my general misgivings about the project, by the end I actually found myself wanting to see how it all pans out. It would be dishonest to claim that essentially well-made programmes such as this don’t pander to our voyeuristic impulses.

Despite the presence of an old-fashioned chauvinist, there are no outright villains in Seven Year Switch. There will doubtless be some conflict in future episodes, but it’s not designed to be explosive in the Wife Swap vein.

Whether these couples actually gain anything from the experience, or live to regret it, remains to be seen.

Will you care either way? Of course not. It’s all pointless. We’ll be dead soon, it’s just a swollen heartbeat away. Gawping passively into the soiled litter tray of other people’s heartbreak is one way of getting through it all.

Still, life goes on. One of Channel 4’s cast-iron warhorses, observational documentary ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE returned for another series of touching antenatal drama.

In a Birmingham maternity ward, we met more nurses and couples on the cusp of bringing life into this dreadful world of knockabout pain.

The straightforward human interest formula never fails to gently lift the spirits, as we eavesdrop on nice ordinary people going through a life-changing experience while personable professionals ensure a smooth transition under often trying circumstances.

They’ll probably all end up on Seven Year Switch one day.