Saturday 2 February 2019

TV Column: TEACHERS TRAINING TO KILL


This article was originally published in The Courier on 2nd February 2019.


NEXT WEEK’S TV


TEACHERS TRAINING TO KILL
Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

At a remote summer camp in Ohio, schoolteachers are being trained to use firearms. Blatantly endorsed by Trump, it’s a radical response to the never-ending spate of tragic school shootings. Prepare to despair at this powerful documentary in which an arrogant county sheriff mounts a controversial campaign to fight fire with fire. Naturally, it never occurs to this agenda-pushing fanatic that an unequivocal reformation of the outdated Second Amendment is a simpler solution. Disturbing attack simulations involving students dressed with fake wounds are juxtaposed with intelligent contributions from a teenager who survived a school shooting. As he observes, what if an armed teacher becomes violently, mentally ill? It’s almost as if the pro-gun lobby doesn’t actually care.

HOW THE OTHER KIDS LIVE
Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm

Imagine a benign version of Wife Swap starring innocent ankle-biters instead of bickering adults, and you’ve basically got the measure of this new social experiment starring children who live just streets apart but who come from different worlds. When they visit each other for playdates that would never otherwise happen, they learn about different cultures and backgrounds. The series begins with Catholic Brendan, Muslim Yasmin and privately educated twins Tom, who has Down’s syndrome, and Billy. The kids are bright and sweet, their parents are lovely, and the whole thing amounts to a touching celebration of open-mindedness. Brendan sums it up: “Houses don’t really matter what they look like, it’s just a house. It’s not [for] you to judge it.”

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE ZOO
Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm

Whether you approve of zoos or not, there’s no denying that the staff at Chester Zoo – the setting for the latest series of this fly-on-the-wall perennial – are dedicated to looking after various endangered species. The focus this week is on the relationships that form between animals during conservation projects. We witness the bittersweet tale of a pair of giant otter pals who, because they’ve never mated, have to be separated to make way for another male, and a domestic dispute between two Andean bears: the clingy teenage daughter doesn’t understand why her antsy mother wants more space to herself. The programme also features some drunk South American butterflies, which isn’t a phrase I ever thought I’d find myself writing.

JEREMY WADE’S MIGHTY RIVERS
Friday, STV, 8pm

In the final episode of his grave ecological travelogue, the snow-haired biologist and extreme angler reveals that even the mighty Zambezi is in trouble. Massive construction projects and overfishing are threatening its health. Wade discovers that parts of the Zambezi delta have dried up due to a lack of flooding caused by a massive Zimbabwean hydro-dam. His canoe-based investigation involves some hairy encounters with a man-eating crocodile and some angry hippos, and a chat with a local fisherman who predicts that soon all the fish will be gone. Fairly interesting stuff, but it’s docked a point for carelessly neglecting to use Marlena Shaw’s recording of the gospel-soul classic Wade in the Water as its theme tune.


LAST WEEK’S TV

IMAGINE… JO BRAND: NO HOLDS BARRED
Monday 28th, BBC One

When Jo Brand first arrived on the ‘80s alternative comedy scene, her uncompromisingly deadpan stage persona was refreshing and deliberately provocative: a revolutionary pioneer in the then barren field of female stand-up. These days, of course, she’s renowned as one of the nicest people in showbiz, but that doesn’t mean she’s lost her edge. Far from it. This candid profile paid tribute to her prodigious talent. Understandably, she bristled at the ‘national treasure’ tag. Have you seen her autobiographical sitcoms Damned and the shamefully underrated Getting On? They’re angry, compassionate, intelligent products of a subversively politicised, anti-establishment philosophy. History will judge her with the kindness and respect she deserves.

THE STAND UP SKETCH SHOW
Monday 28th, ITV2

TV producers sometimes cough up concepts so catastrophically ill-conceived, you almost have to marvel at their cluelessness. This series is aimed at an imaginary audience who can’t engage with stand-up comedy routines unless they’re accompanied by sketches spelling out the contents in overliteral detail. Sketches can certainly be used to elaborate upon ideas explored in stand-up routines – e.g. Dave Allen and Stewart Lee – but listening to a comic talk while a sketch unfolds just kills the jokes stone dead. Not that the bland, hacky observational comics employed by the show – Seann ‘love rat’ Walsh included – are funny anyway, but they stand even less of a chance in this context.

PURE
Wednesday 30th, Channel 4

Marnie is young Scottish woman who, since the age of 14, has been plagued by relentlessly graphic thoughts about sex: “It’s like The Sixth Sense, but I don’t see dead people. I see naked ones.” In episode one of this instantly arresting comedy drama, Marnie fled to London on a desperate voyage of self-discovery after a disastrous speech at her parents’ wedding anniversary, during which she imagined everyone in the room indulging in all sorts of publicly prohibited activities. Based on a true story, Pure is a funny, frank and liberating study of mental illness, and newcomer Charly Clive is hugely likeable as the captivatingly chaotic Marnie. A guaranteed cult hit.



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