TV Column: THE TRIAL OF RATKO MLADIC + CATCHPOINT

This article was originally published in The Courier on 30 March 2019.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/category/lifestyle/entertainment/tv-film/

NEXT WEEK’S TV

FOR FOLK’S SAKE! MORRIS DANCING AND ME

Monday, BBC Four, 9pm

This wryly affectionate documentary peers into a peculiar subculture. Morris dancing is widely regarded as an embarrassing emblem of tiresomely twee British eccentricity. But, asks filmmaker Richard Macer, is this parochial world of bells, beards and beer facing extinction? What can be done to inflate the membership of ageing Morris groups? Macer follows Britain’s oldest Morris organisation as they deal with a monumental change to their constitution: allowing women to join hitherto male-only groups for the first time. Traditionalist leader Barry is dead against it. “It’s important to maintain the artistic purity of the style,” he insists while dressed as a May Queen. However, Macer also meets dancers who welcome their female saviours. It’s like Brexit in microcosm.

STORYVILLE: THE TRIAL OF RATKO MLADIC

Monday, BBC Four, 10pm

In 2017, Bosnian Serb General Ratko Mladic was found guilty of genocide and crimes against humanity. He was sentenced to life in prison. This sobering documentary goes behind the scenes of his five-year inquisition at the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia in The Hague, the most important war crimes trial since Nuremberg. During the Bosnian War of the ‘90s, Mladic became synonymous with the siege of Sarajevo in which nearly 14,000 people were killed and the murder of over 7,000 Muslim men and boys in Srebrenica. The film boasts extraordinary access to Mladic’s defence team and celebrates the painstaking efforts of the prosecutors who brought this evil tyrant, known as the ‘Butcher of Bosnia’, to account.

JACK THE RIPPER: THE CASE REOPENED

Thursday, BBC One, 9pm

We’ll probably never know the true identity of Jack the Ripper, but we’ll always have a stream of documentaries purporting to shed new light on his horrific crimes. The latest unearthing of the world’s most famous cold case investigation is hosted by none other than Silent Witness star Emilia Fox alongside leading criminologist Professor David Wilson. He’s also a practiced media professional, hence his unfortunate tendency to come across as a bit too slick and actorly when discussing brutal murders (Fox, despite being an actual actor, is more subdued). Using modern techniques and technology, including a bespoke computer system used by the police to detect patterns in criminal activity, they attempt to whittle down the list of historic suspects.

PILGRIMAGE: THE ROAD TO ROME

Friday, BBC Two, 9pm

It’s one of the core tenets of modern television production: when in doubt, round up a group of B and C list celebs and send them off on an overseas adventure. Voila! Another few hours of mild entertainment. This one involves a cabal including Les Dennis, Lesley Joseph, Strictly dancer Brendan Cole and Dana (yes, Dana) hiking across the Alps towards the Vatican. Why? Well, they all have different faiths and beliefs so they’re apparently looking for answers by following this ancient tradition. Dana is Catholic, Joseph is Jewish but non-practicing, Cole is an atheist and Dennis doesn’t know what he believes in. Let theological battle commence. Actually, it’s all rather pleasant and jolly, the very definition of undemanding fare.

LAST WEEK’S TV

CATCHPOINT

Saturday 23^rd, BBC One

Paddy McGuinness: why? This bog-standard quiz show failed to provide a satisfactory answer to that mystifying conundrum. McGuinness oversaw proceedings in typically bland, gormless, unfunny style as contestants answered general knowledge questions while attempting to catch large pink rubber balls. I wouldn’t be surprised if that gimmick was devised solely as an excuse for McGuinness to deliver cheeky pre-watershed double entendres.

TV Column: THE YORKSHIRE RIPPER FILES

This column was originally published in The Courier on 23rd March 2019.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/category/lifestyle/entertainment/tv-film/

NEXT WEEK’S TV

THE YORKSHIRE RIPPER FILES: A VERY BRITISH CRIME STORY

Tuesday to Thursday, BBC Four, 9pm

When serial killer Peter Sutcliffe was finally caught in 1981, he had murdered 13 women and attacked at least eight more. His arrest was the result of Britain’s biggest ever manhunt. During that six-year investigation Sutcliffe was interviewed by the police on nine occasions, but was allowed to walk away each time. In this grimly absorbing three-part documentary, filmmaker Liza Williams meets survivors of Sutcliffe’s attacks, as well as relatives of other victims. She also interviews police officers, pathologists and journalists who covered this horrific case in an attempt to answer a disturbing question: did bigoted societal attitudes towards women, particularly within the male-dominated police force, allow Sutcliffe to continue killing long after he could have been caught?

MARS UNCOVERED: ANCIENT GOD OF WAR

Monday, BBC Four, 9pm

Historian Bettany Hughes examines the relationship between warfare and worship in this thought-provoking documentary. The notion of Holy War has endured throughout the centuries, basically all because of the titular warmongering deity. Hughes follows Mars in his many incarnations across a bloody battlefield of crusades, massacres and world wars. “Is Mars immortal because war is always going to be an essential part of our lives?” she asks. She also explains that, for the Romans, “he was a vital force in their drive to win and exploit an Empire.” However, they stole him from the Greeks, whose own God of war, Aries, was “distrusted and reviled.” That saga would be Python-esque if it didn’t have such catastrophic far-reaching consequences.

THE ROAD TO BREXIT

Tuesday, BBC Two, 10pm

Matt Berry reunites with his Toast of London co-writer Arthur Mathews for this almost mystifyingly unfunny spoof documentary. Mathews also co-created Father Ted, so he should know his way around a good whimsical joke. It appears his powers have deserted him. Berry plays political scholar Michael Squeamish – the same rich and fruity character he always plays, but with a different name. He takes us on a journey through the history of Britain’s relationship with Europe via the familiar comic device of placing archive footage out of context while adding fake captions and dubbed audio. That approach can sometimes work wonders – e.g. the work of comedian Rhys Thomas – but Berry and Mathews’ efforts are fatally hackneyed and thin.

THE BEATLES: MADE ON MERSEYSIDE

Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

Do we really need another documentary about the most scrupulously analysed pop group of all time? Certainly not on the evidence of this harmless yet inessential trawl through their well-worn origin story. It does contain a smattering of unfamiliar nuggets – if the Beatles hadn’t taken off, Paul would’ve become a window dresser – but for the most part it plays out like an instructional video for people who’ve inexplicably never heard any of this stuff before. Nevertheless, it occasionally benefits from the inclusion of an array of greying talking heads who actually knew the group before they were famous (the luckless Pete Best among them). It also features contributions from esteemed music journalist Jon Savage and an inevitable Paul Gambaccini.

LAST WEEK’S TV

MOTHERFATHERSON

Wednesday 20^th, BBC Two

Hollywood legend Richard Gere earned every penny of his paycheque in the latest episode of this enjoyably overwrought melodrama. He spent half of it wandering around sunny Mexico City while the main storyline unfolded elsewhere. Sweet gig. The most interesting aspect of MotherFatherSon by far is the relationship between Kathryn and her severely brain-damaged son. Helen McCrory and Billy Howle pour themselves into their respective roles. It’s such a muddled, overreaching drama, Howards’ Way chairing a Leveson Inquiry comprised of The Godfather, All the President’s Men and The Wolf of Wall Street, but I can’t quite tear myself away.

Lest we forget... LEN GOODMAN'S PARTNERS IN RHYME

LEN GOODMAN’S PARTNERS IN RHYME: Saturday, BBC One

THE STATE: Sunday to Thursday, Channel 4

I was saddened by the death of Bruce Forsyth recently. He was one of the greatest front-of-cloth talents in British television history, the hoofing embodiment of light entertainment itself.

But I’m glad he didn’t hang around long enough to witness LEN GOODMAN’S PARTNERS IN RHYME, an atrocious new Saturday night game show in which his erstwhile Strictly colleague soiled the genre that Brucie helped to build.

Len’s corny rhymes are a popular, if minor, part of the winningStrictly formula. Basing an entire show around them is clearly a terrible idea, but that hasn’t stopped Radio 1 DJ Matt Edmondson, who devised this drivel, from doing just that.

The word ‘surreal’ is often misused, but how else to describe such an utterly bewildering misfire?

It announces its awfulness immediately. The opening theme song is a lethargic, unsettling rap from Len. It sounds like Hooky Streetfrom Only Fools and Horses at half speed, the sort of sonic horror they tortured prisoners with in Guantanamo Bay.

It was followed by an introductory monologue delivered entirely in rhyme, in which Len claimed to have shared champagne with a Great Dane and a stew with a Shiatsu.

He then performed an awkward ‘street dance’ with a black contestant before introducing a team of celebrity helpers including his old Strictly china Anton du Beke and Big Mo from EastEnders.

The contestants are shown a series of absurd images and have to guess the correct rhyme. It’s Catchphrase for idiots. These rhymes include: Anton Du Beke with a really long neck; a scotch egg with a broken leg; Jack Whitehall on a wrecking ball. Those are some of the better ones.

There’s also a Give Us a Clue-style round in which the celebs mime a rhyme (Tom Cruise looking for clues; Mel and Sue cleaning the loo etc.). At one point, ‘90s relic Mr Motivator turned up for no discernible reason.

The jaw-dropping weirdness is compounded by an unseen studio audience who are audio-mixed so thinly and distantly they sound like they’re responding sarcastically from another dimension.

This is the sort of show that people will dimly recall in years to come while questioning whether it ever actually existed. Even while watching it unspool in front of you, it still doesn’t feel real. Naturally, it’s already been commissioned for a second series.

I am, broadly speaking, a staunch defender of the BBC, but they don’t half make life difficult sometimes.

Len Goodman is an affable soul, but he’s no Bruce Forsyth. Brucie was such a gifted host, he could transform even the most unpromising format into entertaining TV gold. He wouldn’t have touched this garbage with a 50-foot bargepole.

TV Column: LEAVING NEVERLAND: MICHAEL JACKSON AND ME + DERRY GIRLS

This article was originally published in The Courier on 9th March 2019.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/category/lifestyle/entertainment/tv-film/

NEXT WEEK’S TV

CHEAT

Monday to Thursday, STV, 9pm

Deep within the bowels of ITV Towers is an airless chamber where contracted writers are forced to churn out pot-boiling thrillers starring familiar faces. Cheat is the latest product of this heinous abuse of human rights. Katherine Kelly (Coronation Street) plays an upmarket university lecturer whose life comes a cropper when a ruthlessly ambitious student (Molly Windsor from Three Girls, who deserves better) mounts a weird campaign against her. Cards on the table, folks, we dedicated members of the press were only given preview access to episode one – Cheat is generously stripped throughout the week - but I think it’s fair to predict that this Richard & Judy Book Club folderol won’t improve after such a risible opening chapter.

                                                                                                     

24 HOURS IN POLICE CUSTODY

Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

The acceptable face of cop-trailing crime documentaries, this sombre hardy perennial works because it swaps the genre’s usual tabloid sensationalism for a more socially responsible and detailed approach. The latest series begins with an extended edition in which police officers search for a dangerous predator who sexually assaulted a woman at knife-point during broad daylight. The rapist was unknown to his victim – statistically, a fairly rare occurrence – and his DNA wasn’t stored on the police’s extensive nationwide database of known sex offenders. As always, the programme follows the investigation from its initial stages to the eventual, claustrophobic interrogation of a chief suspect. It provides some valuable, sensitive insight into how severe cases such as this are handled.

AUSTRALIA: EARTH’S MAGICAL KINGDOM

Friday, BBC Two, 9pm

It may boast all the panoramic and granular pleasures you’ve come to expect from world-beating natural history documentaries, but by far the most satisfying aspect of this new series is its unlikely yet entirely apt choice of narrator. The great Barry Humphries is a much loved and highly respected Australian superstar, but he doesn’t usually lend his dulcet tones to programmes of this nature. It’s rather wonderful listening to him enthuse about colourful species of wildlife about which little is widely known. He begins by revealing how animals have learned to adapt across Australia’s dramatically disparate weather extremes. Star turns include a platypus cousin who can lower its body temperature to endure icy winters, and some remarkably intelligent cockatoos.

SHOWBANDS: HOW IRELAND LEARNT TO PARTY

Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

Ardal O’Hanlon is your warm, witty guide to the history of a uniquely Irish showbiz phenomenon. From the 1950s to the end of the 1970s, hundreds of showbands – “versatile, hardworking mobile jukeboxes in shiny suits” – freely crisscrossed the north and south of Ireland. Many of them became household names. The showbands saw themselves purely as entertainers, but they transformed the lives of young people living in rural backwaters, triggered a kind of social revolution in the dancehalls and broke down religious and political barriers. O’Hanlon finds out what their success said about Ireland during a tumultuous era of cultural isolationism and bitter sectarian violence. As the tragic fate of the Miami Showband illustrates, they weren’t always immune to their surroundings.

LAST WEEK’S TV

JERK

Monday 4^th, BBC One

Tim Renkow is the star and co-creator of this charmless comedy in which he plays an American slacker with cerebral palsy who happily exploits his condition to secure a Visa. The sole joke is that Tim is a chaos-causing prankster who gets away with being endlessly rude to awkwardly well-meaning able-bodied idiots. No one wants to offend him. It’s supposed to be a challenging satirical comment on ridiculous social attitudes surrounding disability, but it’s neither funny nor clever enough to pull that off. Renkow’s character is a smug irritant. That wouldn’t matter if he was an entertaining smug irritant, but Jerk is utterly tiresome and routine.

DERRY GIRLS

Tuesday 5^th, Channel 4

This delightful sitcom about an awkward gang of Northern Irish teenagers growing up in the Troubled 1990s was a big sleeper hit when it debuted last year. Comedy shows can sometimes lose focus and start playing to the gallery when unexpectedly showered with praise, but there was no sign of that curse as series two began. By sending her girls (and boy) on a ‘Friends Across the Barricade’ weekend aimed at bringing Catholic and Protestant kids together, writer Lisa McGee managed to mock the lunacy of religious prejudice without a hint of self-righteousness. It was another gag-packed, acutely-observed episode, beautifully played as always by a faultless cast. 

LEAVING NEVERLAND: MICHAEL JACKSON AND ME

Wednesday 6^th and Thursday 7^th, Channel 4

Jackson evaded justice during his lifetime, but this gut-punching documentary held him to unequivocal account. It focused on Wade Robson and James Safechuck, both of whom allege they were sexually abused by their childhood idol over a period of several years. Their relentlessly graphic and entirely credible testimonies were juxtaposed with recollections from their mothers attempting to explain how they were hoodwinked. As their stories unfolded like a horrifying family scrapbook, a consistent portrait emerged of Jackson as a devious predatory paedophile who exploited his status and innocent man-child image to groom children and their parents. He destroyed lives. Jackson’s legacy won’t recover from this damning expose. It can’t.

TRAVELLING BLIND

Thursday 7^th, BBC Two

Amar Latif has been blind since he was eighteen, but that hasn’t stopped him from travelling the world in search of adventure. All he needs is a sighted person to act as a guide. His assistant during this bright and breezy Turkey travelogue was comedian Sara Pascoe, lest anyone avoid an educational programme informed by disability due to an unacceptable lack of celebrity involvement. To be fair, it did achieve Latif’s goal of illustrating that blindness isn’t a barrier to enjoying a rich and fulfilling life. A decent introduction to the BBC’s new Crossing Divides season, which explores how people can be brought together in this fragmented world of ours.